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If, like me, you have recently been ‘tagged’ quite a few times in the hilarious (and I use the term loosely) chain-activity entitled: 25 random things, and you have demonstrated no desire to play along, then you might get as big a kick out of this Time article as I did: 25 things I didn’t want to know about you.

This prompted me to propose my own list, entitled 25 things I do not want to know about you. Feel free to send this one to all of your random facebook buddies:

25 Things I do not want to know about you:

1. anything about your sex life
2. the regularity of your bowel movements
3. the totally adorable thing you did when you were 3
4. your illnesses, especially…
5. …any illness which occurs between your belly button and your knee, and especially any illness that derives from…
6. …the topic I don’t want to know anything about in point 1 of this list
7. the cute thing your cat just did
8. point number 2 as regards your cat
9. your vomit stories
10. your vomit stories related to the topic I don’t want to know anything about in point 1 of this list
11. the most embarrassing thing you have ever done (actually, that one might be interesting, depends what it is)
12. your dreams
13. your star sign
14. your religion
15. your political beliefs, especially if you are a Pisces religious fantastic who dreams about point 2 or point 9 on this list
16. the stuffed animal (s) you sleep with (unless it is Hello Kitty of course)
17. where you need to shave
18. where you don’t
19. the number of calories you consumed today
20. the number of calories I consumed today
21. how much you resemble Xena – Warrior Princess, especially if you are a guy
22. how God appeared to you in a dream one night and told you to lead the French Army with a really dodgy hair cut
23. everything you have done since I vaguely knew you when you were 5
24. a litany of all the shit things that have happened to you since I vaguely knew you when you were 5
25. adorable things about your significant other (even 1 thing is too many!)
     

Everything else is up for grabs.